Amazing Letter Written By a Correctional Officers Wife

I was granted permission to post a Letter in its entirety to my blog. Why I asked for permission was simple, it is an amazing letter, written perfectly from the heart. It will touch so many people, wives, husbands, friends, family, children with relationships with those working our profession. Please take the time to read this letter. I thank the Author and the Husband who granted permission.


"This is a very powerfully written letter called CO Wife Life. Written by a coworker, friend and brother in blue's, wife and partner for life.
Take the time to read this. It's quite something.

Dear Mr. Yasir Naqvi,

I would like to take this opportunity to open your eyes to the reality and daily struggles that I personally face as the wife of a Correctional Officer. My husband isn’t aware that I am writing this to you, but as I watch him come home every night, beyond exhausted and extremely stressed due to the possible upcoming strike, things need to change to better the lives of all of the men and women who continue to put their lives and safety on the line every day while working at the Ottawa Carleton Detention Centre.

My husband has been working at OCDC for 9 years now. We have been together for 7 years and I continue to watch him deteriorate; physically, mentally, and emotionally due to his line of work. My husband has been involved and a part of major situations that I am sure that you have read about and he has most likely seen more in the past 9 years then you, or anyone else for the matter will see throughout your whole lives.

My husband has witnessed disturbing fights and seen gruesome injuries yet he continues to risk his life immediately and without any hesitation when the emergency alarm sounds to break up serious altercations between inmates. He has witnessed horrific suicide attempts, yet has gone beyond and above to save several lives of inmates who are ungrateful and continue to attempt to commit suicide on a daily basis. Unfortunately, he has also witnessed horrifying deaths that have caused him to struggle with post traumatic stress issues, unpredictable mood swings, and violent night terrors that I have to try to wake him up from on a nightly basis.

Due to his line of work as a Correctional Officer, my husband has developed major anxiety issues and would rather stay in the comfort and safety of his own home then being out in public on any occasion. Simple things that couples take for granted, such as going out for a nice dinner in the downtown core, going to a movie, or going to a crowded concert or sporting event are out of the question now thanks to the toll of his job.

We had our first child together and his two year old daughter is his complete life and world yet he has missed and continues to miss out on major milestones of her life because he is required to spend the majority of his time at the jail. Depending on his scheduled 12 hour shifts and mandatory overtime that he is required to work, he can go upwards of 4 days to a week without seeing his little girl which clearly affects the emotional well being of our daughter who struggles to understand why her Daddy is never home. While most families who work “9am-5pm” jobs continue to live happy and healthy lives, eat family dinners together, and bring new children into this world, we struggle with the decision of having another baby at this time because being married to a Correctional Officer leaves me with the feeling of being a “single married mom”; never realizing how lonely and depressing being the spouse of a CO would be. My husband often times works more hours in 1 week then most public servants will work in 2 weeks. He is barely around on weekends and night shifts put us on complete opposite schedules yet I have to be strong and put a smile on my face while trying to reason with our little girl while she cries for her Daddy to be home to lay with her in bed at night.

My husband has missed out on numerous family events, birthdays, Easter holidays, Thanksgiving dinners, and Christmas celebrations. This year especially, my daughter and I are the ones who missed out on enjoying a summer holiday with him because he was denied vacation time due to the lack of staff issue at OCDC. I completely understand that working holidays is a required part of their job, yet I struggle to understand why Correctional Officers are currently fighting to be considered an essential service when they are the front-line employees who make that jail run on a daily “24/7” basis despite all of the struggles and lack of support that they are currently dealing with.

While the stress of my husband’s job continues to take a toll on his overall health and daily life, the constant advice that people offer is “get another job” which is easier said than done. The co-workers that my husband works with everyday have become a part of his family and the only reason why he continues to go into that dysfunctional, unsafe, and chaotic working atmosphere is for the well being of his “shift brothers and sisters.” Correctional officers right now are doing their jobs despite obeying the proper safety protocol and spending countless hours writing detailed incident reports because they are so short staffed. Inmates are extra aggressive and angry right now and most upper management don’t care about staffs issues and concerns on the floor, so the only people that my husband can rely on for support are his “brothers and sisters in blue”.

Unfortunately, being a CO requires my husband to be married to his job, just as much, if not more than he is married to me and his family. As hard as it is for him to go into that jail every day, he takes pride in being a CO and his daily intention is to protect his staff and inmates from harm while knowing that he is at risk of being assaulted at any given time. Being a Correctional Officer right now is like walking on eggshells since they are unable to do their jobs properly without having the constant worry of being investigated or losing their jobs for anything they say or do. It has gotten to the point where inmates have more people advocating for their rights and well being than the CO’s do right now which is a clearly a huge issue. Ironically enough, the only articles that have been published in the media, over the last year especially, are inmate-centered and force the public to view Correctional Officers as monsters. I think that it’s time that the media starts publishing articles on the mental health issues that CO’s have developed from post traumatic situations and the depression, anger, and fear that they live with on a daily basis. It takes an extremely strong and dedicated type of person to do the job that these men and women do around the clock to protect our community. The least they can ask for right now is being recognized as an essential service to get the recognition and appreciation that they deserve.

I have written this letter to you based on my personal struggles as the spouse of a CO but I feel that I speak for many CO wives when I share this information with you. I ask that while you read this letter, please relate with me on a personal level. Living with a Correctional Officer is almost impossible, yet this is what I signed up for when I decided to marry my husband and start a family. Seeing the daily struggles that my husband now faces in his everyday life is very upsetting compared to the “happy-go-lucky” person who I met 7 years ago. These CO’s have been without a contract for a year now and they have been given minimal information during this time creating even more stress on their already pressured lives. That being said, as the Minister of Community Safety and Correctional Services, these men and women need your support more than anything right now and they need your voice to advocate for their well being during this very important time in their careers."

Thank you for reading this and please share everywhere. This needs to get out there.